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  1. It’s hard for me to imagine a more devastating blow to our shell of democracy than this court decision. This provides the means to thwart every progressive political change with the tried and true weapon of overwhelming corporate lobbying and advertising dollars. Forget about health care reform, global warming legislation, regulation of genetically engineered food, etc., etc., etc…

  2. You are absolutely right, Tom. It’s check mate. How’s your passport status?

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  4. Excellent satire that deserves “above the fold” in tomorrow’s NY Times…
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Timeless TV’s Pingree Report

February 2011

"Twisting Facts Sideways—700 days a year"
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SAN FRANCISCO — Nob Hill hotels folding their cards amidst economic malaise

THE GEYSERS — Yet another earthquake

SAN FRANCISCO — Sisters Of Perpetual Indulgence give female condoms to gay men, enraging ultra-gay cross-dressing Papacy

WASHINGTON — Clarence Thomas won't respond to allegations he's a bought and paid for corporate toady

SAN MATEO — Klepto cat caught cruisin'

BERKELEY — City Council votes to welcome wronged Gitmo inmates; John Yoo expected to gift each with a personalized water board

SAN FRANCISCO — Same Sex couples make Valentine's Day — Right to Marry Day

GLEN ELLEN — Here's why a glen named for Ellen gained renown

SAN FRANCISCO — Archeological Earthquake — "Automatic Human Jukebox" Grimes Poznikov's fountain pen discovered at flea market

SILICON VALLEY — High tech execs jet lagged, brain dead &/or narcoleptic; manage making millions, no matter

SONOMA COUNTY — Hippie icon Lou Gottlieb's Morningstar Ranch on sales block. Son says sacred site status quo unsustainable

SAN FRANCISCO — SFMOMA showcases famed photog & isolated eccentric, Murdering Eadweard Muybridge — Helios, the "Father of Cinema"

OAKLAND — What's new? Feds want pot "farms" gone, haven't a clue of prohibition history

SAN FRANCISCO — Beyond Chron beats up Bay Guardian; progressives punch & pummel

PEBBLE BEACH — Noogies galore! D.A. charges Bill Murray to pro-am victory.

SAN FRANCISCO — SF shames LA in American Idol search

SILICON VALLEY — Wael Ghonim gives Google gigabuck goosebumps' grab for green

VALLEJO — "We're #2!" — Vallejo, Big time "dying city" and "most miserable to live in" community embraces national recognition

SAN FRANCISCO — Candlestick's newly unearthed 130 year old scows deemed too costly to save

NAPA — Newly revived Napa city shakes off frumpy past

SAN FRANCISCO — SF Beer Week—dedicated drunks drink bodacious beers

CONCORD — Round Table seeks square deal in bankruptcy proceedings

NAPA — Napa Pipe — can you say Getty?

SAN FRANCISCO — Mayor Ed Lee gets stuff done now that Gavin's gone

SILICON VALLEY — MegaRich-Meg promises she'll cut her taxes in half and have the middle and lower classes make up the shortfall

NAPA — Curtains for Cabernet? European grapevine moth invades Wine Country

SAN FRANCISCO — Bay Bridge 15 months behind because U.S. no longer smelts or drafts

BERKELEY — Where did free higher education go? UC Regents wants private school fees larded on debt-burdened grads

SILICON VALLEY — Whitman ignores press at "open press" stop

SACRAMENTO — Anti-gay Republican State Senator caught drunk driving with male companion after leaving gay bar

CUPERTINO — Jobs says stockholders don't want to know what environmental damage Apple is doing

BEVERLY HILLS — And we thought Carrie Prejean was nuts. "Miss Beverly Hills" says murdering gays and lesbians is mandated by her Bible

NAPA — America's first wind powered ferry to take wing on the San Francisco Bay

SAN FRANCISCO — Right wing talk show shill gets the corporate boot , runs to "ultra-left" union for help

SONOMA COUNTY — Why the Bohemian Club's mega-wealthy members' plan to cut old growth redwoods is a really bad thing

SAN FRANCISCO — Yoo boo-hoos critics who claim his green-lighting torture constitutes high crimes

U.S.A. — Class Warfare! Top 400 households make a MILLION BUCKS DAILY, but their tax rates drop below six-figure wage earners

SILICON VALLEY — Larry Ellison drops $400 million into winning the America's Cup — a mere 1/67th of his personal worth.

SAN MATEO — Too few boo Yoo at Rotary Club confab

SAN FRANCISCO — Google's Buzz launch doing evil

SACRAMENTO — Anthem Blue Cross gauges policy holders another 39% — proving massive insurance rate hikes, not reform, the only rational route to riches

BERKELEY — U.S. Justice Department backpedals on John Yoo's torture memos. A little torture good for everyone?

CALIFORNIA — Democracy in action? Top ten Californians ponied up more than a quarter billion dollars to have their say

WASHINGTON — Obama doesn't begrudge banksters destroying the U.S. economy, then walking away with millions. "That is part of the free market system."

NEW MEXICO — State House tells banksters to shove-it. $2-5 billion to go into local banks & credit unions

MILL VALLEY — Conservative Groupa-Polooza to be "Largest Gathering of Conservatives in the Bay Area." Four hour tea party expected to attract all four Mill Valley conservatives.

SAN FRANCISCO — Postcard Row house a $4 million steal?

CALIFORNIA — Budget hawk & gubernatorial hopeful Meg Whitman spending like drunken sailor

SF BAY AREA — Clean green sliced in half, but Bay Area still leads investments

SILICON VALLEY — Next American Economy "stakeholders" laud replacing union of 50 states with New Bohemia

WALL STREET — Bailed-out billionaire banksters dump Obama & Dems for suggesting financial reform. Repugs to wallow in Wall Street's filthy lucre

WALNUT GROVE — Hash house huddle at high noon — one hundred gunslingers howling to pack loaded heat

CALIFORNIA — Will faulty finding knock California High Speed Rail off the tracks?

SF BAY AREA — Old wine rebottled? Comcast limits broadband use, calls de-enhanced service XFINITY

WASHINGTON — Foiled Xmas terrorist plot - or foiled right-wing coup? State Department tells House Committee on Homeland Security that U.S. Intelligence interceded to prevent revocation of bomber's visa.

SILICON VALLEY — Does Steve Jobs require endless war for Apple to survive?

NORTH BAY — SMART ain't BART says Met Transpo Commission. $155 million shortfall could screw Sonoma

MOUNTAIN VIEW — iPad rockets beyond cuneiform tablets, papyrus, town criers and wood pulp into new digital universe of journalism...or, a mere temporal trinket?

HARRIS POLL — News-less newspapers continue to lose readers


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